Coffee, Curls, and Catching Up with Kenya Raymer of HalfieTruths.com

If you’re anything like me then you have been following Kenya from her fairy tale romance and subsequent marriage to Nashville radio personality Dolewite to watching her “walk”  or be walked by her huge dog Walli.  One thing I noticed is, I NEVER SEE HER OUT in Nashville.  Conversely, she is very vocal and eloquent in her writing about truth seeking and truth telling, honoring your emotions, and creating personal boundaries.  It only made sense for a blog that features all things good and authentic in Nashville to feature Kenya Raymer of HalfieTruths.com.  She’s dropping gems of wisdom and I found a neat app that lets you “click to tweet” quotables.  Trust me, you’re going to want to share these pearls of reflection with your friends.

Photo Location: Barista Parlor Germantown, Nashville, TN

 

Originally, I reached out to meet and connect to determine from which angle we should derive the interview.  As usual Jodie with Jai S Photograhy was along to capture the meeting.  When I  got the pictures back I was so excited that I shared a picture from the meet and greet to the NSB IG page and gauged the interest of the readers. Kenya has a strong following and her readers generally want to know about her and typically ask the self proclaimed introvert questions in her comments.   I figured, it would be a good way to connect Kenya even closer with her readers by answering THEIR questions instead of my own.  Quick pitch to Kenya and she was good with reader submitted questions.  I created a quick flyer to pub the question collection, gathered and categorized the questions, submitted them to Kenya, she turned around her remarks below.

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I found her to be just as gorgeous in person, bubbly personality, and is very clear on what she wants.  Very down to earth and easy to talk to with the most contagious giggle. Read on to see the reader submitted Questions and Kenya’s Answers.

Married Life

@krenaye1 // How has your relationship with your husband enriched since saying “I do?”

We’re definitely stronger as a unit, but not since we said, “I do.” We’ve been getting stronger since day one. Our relationship has been enriched from the small and consistent ways we love each other. He picks up dinner on days I can’t get it together, I run errands that will make his day run smoother, we communicate, we support each other, and we are kind to each other. Relationships aren’t enriched by milestones like wedding days and anniversaries. Not even time enriches relationships. It’s what you do with that time, the daily nurturing, that makes you stronger and gets you to the milestones.

Click Here to Tweet: @kb__2015 @Halfietruths #quoteme “Relationships aren’t enriched by milestones like wedding days and anniversaries. Not even time enriches relationships. It’s what you do with that time, the daily nurturing, that makes you stronger and gets you to the milestone.”

 

@cityspeakphotos // I’m a realtor and saw on IG HalfieTruths and Dolowite built a house.  How was the process for them and are there any tips for other would be home builders?

The process of building was long and awful, but totally worth it. I love love love our house.

  1. Be patient! Building is a process and it always takes longer than promised. If you can’t be patient (like me), get a hobby to distract you!
  2. Pick a couple things that you will splurge on and are mandatory, and know that everything else can (and will) change.
  3. Compromise! Building can challenge your relationship, be ready for it and fight fair.

 

@tjbeezie // What are you thoughts on the first year of marriage and how living together after marriage is different after vows.

Like I said, we are definitely stronger. I also trust him more. I don’t mean fidelity. If you have fidelity issues, don’t get married! I mean, I trust him with my life. He always says, “I got this!” And, I used to say, “ok!” but I would have a backup plan… just in case, you know!

I’m very independent. Dependency is something that I struggle with because it’s hard for me to believe that someone has my best interest at heart, more than I do. But, he does. My trust in him has greatly deepened since we got married. I sincerely believe that all his actions are in our best interest and that he’s got this, he’s got me.

Living together is the same after vows. We haven’t changed and marriage hasn’t changed us. He still leaves his shoes in the middle of every walkway and I still scream “get out!” when he & Walli interrupt my beauty rest. Vows don’t change people, so you shouldn’t expect them to. Vows only make it legal for someone to drive you crazy for the rest of your life!

Click here to tweet: @kb__2015@Halfietruths #quoteme “Vows dont change people, so you shouldn’t expect them to.  Vows only make it legal for someone to drive you crazy for the rest of your life.”

 

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Blogging and Branding

@thebloggergirls // What steps did you take to define your blogging and social media style?  We know everyone wanted her to talk about her hair, but now she’s so much more!

I didn’t set out to brand Halfietruths. It happened and I embraced it. Everything has been organic and I think that’s why I’ve been so successful. I learned the best way to present content, the best time to present it, and how to engage with my following, all from trial and error. I have stayed true to who I am, every step of the way, and that makes what I do, easy and rewarding.

Click Here to Tweet: @kb__2015 @Halfietruths #quoteme “I have stayed true to who I am, every step of the way, and that makes what I do, easy and rewarding.”

I created Halfietruths as a way to share my words. My Instagram page was supposed to lead people to my blog, but when I started sharing pictures of myself, my hair took over! I became a figure in the online, natural-hair movement, and that’s cool because I love my hair and it’s definitely part of my journey. But, it’s not who I am or what Halfietruths is. I’m not passionate about hair. That’s why I never got into tutorials and product reviews. I’m passionate about sharing my words and connecting people, women in particular.

I started sharing my words on Instagram because it was easier. I already had the audience, and majority of them were women. I saw them coming for hair and sticking around to hear how I’m handling grief and anxiety. They weren’t only interested in my blowouts or two-strand twists. They wanted to know more about what I was wearing, my new favorite restaurants, my relationship, my dog, and they even loved all my rants!

So, I’ve always been so much more than hair, but my hair is big and it’s often what draws attention first. I’m good with that, but I won’t let it limit who I am or deter me from what I set out to do. I’m here to stay true to myself, share my words, and connect women: to themselves and each other. I just so happen to do it with great hair

Click Here to Tweet: @kb__2015@Halfietruths #quoteme “I’m here to stay true to myself, share my words, and connect women: to themselves and each other. I just so happen to do it with great hair”

 

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All About Kenya Raymer…

@jairaiscute // What are your fave foods?  What’s one hair product you can’t be without?

I love salty food! I could live on mexican food, and I make popcorn, on the stove not in the microwave, almost every night. I also love guacamole, but I hate taking the time to make it and I’m very picky about how it’s made. Smooth guacamole is basically baby food, no thanks.

I cannot live without TRESemme Moisturizing conditioner. It’s thick, cheap, and has the perfect amount of slip for detangling. I condition, deep condition, and co-wash with it.

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Health and Wellness

@mylyfemway // Do you have an am/pm routine?  What is it?

Yes, I spend at least an hour alone when I wake up and before I go to bed. I’m usually listening to music and checking email, social media, the news. This is also when I write the most. I prefer to be alone in the morning and I am mean if I don’t get that time.

@ohhkay___and // How do you deal with anger when you’ve been really hurt (and you talking to the culprit is completely out of the question).  Any tips getting back to my happy place?

I work towards forgiveness. A lot of people think that forgiving someone requires that person’s participation, but that’s not true. If you’re ready to forgive, it can begin and end with you. You decide to forgive, do so, and move forward. If you’re interested I have a video on YouTube about how to forgive without the participation of someone else (YouTube // Halfietruths). Remember, happiness is a choice.

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Reflections…

@misssgsp // How do you navigate the world as a biracial woman and approach challenges and or privileges that are part of your experience?

Privilege is real and I do experience it from being light-skinned, and from having a certain type of hair, if we’re being totally honest. Colorism is also real and I do experience challenges within the black community. I can’t change the way people see me. I can only be me, so I navigate the world by staying true to myself.

I’m not a member of the LGBTQ community, but I use my voice to support them. I am not a black man, but I use my voice to support them. I may not have the same experiences as a woman with darker skin, but I am on her side. We are on the same side, and I am using my voice for us. I want to be free and happy, and I want that for others. I will use my voice to push the agenda that everyone has the right to be free and happy.  And, if my skin tone and curly hair carries the privilege of people listening, I will use that to all of our benefit.

What I am not going to do, is carry baggage from the privilege or challenges that I experience. I am not going to carry guilt that stems from privilege. I am not going to carry resentment that stems from separation. Carrying baggage of any kind doesn’t fall in line with my goal to be free and happy. Carrying baggage is not true to who I am.

Click here to tweet: @kb__2015 @Halfietruths #quoteme “I will use my voice to push the agenda that everyone has the right to be free and happy.  And if my skin tone and curly hair carries the privilege of people listening, I will use that to all of our benefit.”

@tjbeezie // Thoughts on how to inject the self love, appreciation,  and confidence so many found later in life to our kids?

If you want your children to love themselves, love yourself. If you want your children to be confident in who they are, be confident in who you are. If you want your children to be grateful for their story, be grateful for yours. Be you, be unapologetically you. Children see the things you do, the things you don’t do, and the things that you don’t think they see you do! Do right by yourself and you will do right by them.

Click here to tweet: @kb__2015 @Halfietruths #quoteme “Children see the things you do, the things you don’t do, and the things you don’t think they see you do.  Do right by yourself and you will do right by them.”

@tndivaesq // What book changed your life?

I know you only asked for one, but I’m answering with two! Every woman should read Mama Day by Gloria Naylor. It’s is a beautiful story about relationships, family, and identity. Everyone who is moving through grief, of any kind, should read The Five People You Meet in Heaven by Mitch Albom. It’s about love and purpose. I read it a couple times a year.

@Baptiste the Queen // How do you decide what level of transparency to share your truths?

Everything is on the table except my marriage. I’m happy to share our sweet stories and moments, but you will never see me working out issues publicly, like I do with other facets of my life. My marriage is the one thing that is not open for interpretation or examination.

Click here to Tweet @kb__2015 @Halfietruths #quoteme “My marriage is the one thing that is not open for interpretation or examination.”

@keylimex3  // What keeps you grounded?

I learned a real lesson about life during my miscarriages: hearts are broken everyday and the sun rises and sets anyways. We all want the world to stop for us, as though we are different and deserving. But, that’s just not the way it works. We have to keep moving or we get left behind, and that goes for everyone. We’re all special, but no one gets special treatment.

Click here to Tweet: @kb__2015 @HalfieTruths #quoteme “We’re all special but no one gets special treatment.”

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You can catch Kenya on all of her social media handles at HalfieTruths, so she’s not hard to find.  Her website HalfieTruths.com can also connect you to her social media and gives more information about her journey, her poetic words, and Nashville Brags.

Kenya’s latest Youtube video about Boundaries is now available here.

If you enjoyed this blog post please share!

KB The Nashville Social Butterfly

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3 comments

  1. Wonderfully written NSB!! Thanks for allow us(the readers) to participate in this journey. I’m proud you for following your truth Sista!!

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