So the other day I was deep in my feelings. Way down through there. Low. Let me explain.
I currently work in a shoebox. There is no room for creativity or personality in this shoe box. And that makes me sad. Rather than complain about a situation, I try to change it. Thus I have been in the market for a shoebox that better fits me.
“Thank you Ms. Burnett for your time and interest in this position, but we have decided to move forward with another candidate.”
Immediately my stomach dropped because I had been given a referral for this shoebox and I had made it to the very last interview.
My first thoughts were “what do you mean no.” My second thoughts were of defeat as I immediately I collapsed in tears. This was the NINTH, 9, nueve, time I had been rejected and I was fed up with discouragement and disappointment. There I was in Charlotte at the bar in tears. AND I was going to have to finish my traveling assignment for my shoebox and come BACK home to the same shoebox that didn’t fit. Needless to say I was crushed.
So what did I deduce from my 9th rejection you may ask?
- I wonder if it’s because I wear my hair naturally curly TWA (teenie weenie afro)?
- I know I am burnt out from my current shoebox.
- It’s likely affecting my confidence to sell myself to other shoeboxes.
- Maybe my current role is not the role for me.
- Maybe the current environment is not the environment for me.
Very much so the latter two points, as I can see so much creativity, marketing and branding coming naturally to me in this blogging experience.
Sidebar — I wanted to try a social experiment interviewing with my hair straight versus naturally curly. I’ll save that for a future blog post.
You know how folks say that social media is only your highlight reel. So true. You guys would not have known that I have been rejected from every shoebox I’ve applied and interviewed in 2016. That’s about one per month. Which means each week while I was planning a blog post, planning the shoot, completing the shoot, or interviewing someone for the blog, I was in parallel enduring part of the grueling “application submission, phone screen, first interview, second interview, long wait” process. UGH. I try to not let it show, Plus, with Nashvillesocialbutterfly.com I have found so much joy in the space and opportunity. But after 9 of them thangs, I kind of threw up my hands. I was so done.
Why is your support important to me?
I was speaking with my Life Coach about my shoebox situation during our monthly session and one thing from our conversation resonated with me. He said that when Michelangelo was painting the Sistine chapel, he kept painting and painting because he thought he needed more detail, color and lines to make the work or art perfect. The folks around him, however, were looking at his work in awe and telling him he has created a masterpiece. I’m a big minimizer of myself and you guys show me in your social reactions the magnitude of what I am creating here in Nashville, in my life, in the digital world and the physical world; a place where Nashville is ON THE MAP through my eyes.
Nashvillesocialbutterfly.com, like the city of Nashville and its people, has so many opportunities. And, you reading this blog post are a part of it. I pose the question, If no one is watching, are you doing anything worth being seen?
Your support reminds me this is so much bigger than I. It’s about telling the story of the city through its people and my experiences. This is not about me anymore, and His Will be Done.
Your support means so much to be because I’m using it fuel me to keep me focused, while drawing my strength from the rejection. There is so much to be thankful for; The positivity that is happening in the city of Nashville and in my life; The people I can inspire and help. It meant so much to me that you guys poured back into me what I give to you — authentic positivity and support. For that I am forever grateful and thankful to and for YOU.
So what am I doing to stay encouraged you ask?
- Surrounding myself with people who believe in me
- The people that believe in you will support you during your growth, and ups and downs They also don’t mind reminding you of your greatness because they believe in you. If you don’t have folks like this on your team, I recommend you recruit some. positivity partners even. We are not meant to bear this life on your own so lean on your support because that is what they are there for.
- Remembering this is just a season and part of the process
- Just because you are having a bad day, a bad month, a bad year, or hell I had a rough period during my 20s does not mean you have a bad life. Just a part of it. It will pass, and you will survive. And then you can thrive.
- Tell folks what you need
- I’m pretty pitiful when I am down. In spite of my self pity, my first response was to ask for support as I did on my Facebook status. And guess what? Just like the bat signal, you guys came to my rescue and for that I am grateful. Had I not voiced my needs, my needs couldn’t be met. I was also inboxed by a few folks that were able to connect me with possible shoeboxes and shoebox advice. All this solution orient action was catalyzed by my sharing my need/vulnerability. People can’t help you if they don’t know how. Make sure you are genuine in your asks and folks will genuinely be there to help.
- Give yourself a moment to process your emotions
- Last week when I got home I wallowed in my sadness. I cried, made a pallet on the floor, watched TV and curled up with my dog. I was down in the dumps My feelings were real and needed to be expressed and I honor that.. Make sure you make the space to express your emotions both physically and mentally if you must. Get those feelings out and then move on.
- Creating an action plan to change my situation
- Creating a plan gives you options and as long as you have options you are not at loss. Having a plan is comforting to give you direction as to changing the current state of your life. For me, my plan is to regroup, rewrite, and re approach.I ‘ll keep you guys posted. Net net is do SOMETHING towards changing your situation so that you move towards the future solution state whatever it may be.
Remember, we all have things going on whether we show one another or not. For that reason, its important to treat people how you would want to be treated. Period. Also know that life gives you what you need and not what you want to create the person you were meant to be. It’s not always easy, but the good thing is you are not alone. There is always a solution if we just keep things in perspective and keep moving forward. Our part is doing the work to make it happen and creating positive interactions along the way.
I’m always available in my inbox if you need support — the least I can do for you guys having my back.
Karla is a graduate of Middle Tennessee State University which a degree in Sociology, and is currently pursuing a MBA at Bethel University. She is a Nashville Native and Lifestyle Blogger; a Free Spirit, and a Music Lover. To subscribe to her monthly newsletter click here. She can be reached via email: firstname.lastname@example.org